Sunday, August 30, 2009

Old Lawn Mower Posts


http://mrbuyer.blogspot.com/

Hi. I'm Mike's inanimate and obstinate old mower. We met in 2003 @Ace Hardware. He found me temperamental. For that, I broke my grass protector and he had to pay for a new one and install himself. Before that even, he did not pay much attention to me and I blew out my carburetor. Then he started cleaning my carb once a month. Good boy. But I still demanded more attention by having little things go wrong. He responded oafishly. Well this past summer our relationship really hit the skids. I blew out my starter coil twice. He fixed me once and then I did it again. So we have parted. I wished him and his new Craftsman well. He wished me well in the junkyard. I heard he already has dumped the new Craftsman for another one. Jerk. My mother warned me about guys like him.

Besides, I like grass!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

The Past Posts


http://mrbuyer.blogspot.com/

Hi. It's me Mikey, from about 1980. See how damaged I was from the Carter years? Any who I have used a time machine to post to this Intronut thing because my 43 year old self apparently has better things to do. If I know myself well and I think I do, he is probably sitting somewhere beering it up and complaining about the government full time. Did you know I am on Facebook? Don't ask me. We just got rid of our
1950's Westinghouse TV. I wonder if in the year 2009 there will be flying cars, free porn and robot body guards to beat up the bullies who don't like mouthy skinny kids. The primary reason for my post today is to report on my future sound device. Kinda like a Walkman on steroids. It is called the MikePod:

Steely Dan: "The Royal Scam"
The Police: "Synchronicity"
REM: "Reckoning"
Meat Puppets: "Monsters"
Replacements: "Let It Be"
Public Image Ltd: "9"
Beach Boys: "Good Vibrations Box Disc 3"
Midnight Oil: "Diesel & Dust"

Send me an email Don't hold your breath, It will be about 30 years in the future before I read it.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Brett Favre Posts, maybe, yes, no maybe


Hi. I am the most indecisive man in America. Congratulate me. Obviously "Con" is in congratulate and I have pulled another con on the NFL, media and more to the point the Vikings. I like attention like 95% of the young women who have appeared on MTV's "The Real World." I don't like training camp, the Packers and inattention. I just hired Spencer Pratt to handle my publicity. He is going to put out a statement that I am not lipsynching in concert and that my breasts are real. Also, he is excited about my Playboy spread. I didn't know I had one. Oh well, more food @ the attention buffet for me I say! Now, blue pants or white? Red? Black?
Here's Mike's iPod info:

MikePod:
Police: "Ghost In The Machine"
Steely Dan: "Katy Lied" In Chicago this week, playing several nights, a whole album each night.
Billy Idol: "Greatest Hits"
Muddy Waters: "Best Of" Any album of his could be a Best of
Neil Young: "Mirror Ball" Pearl Jam backs him up on this one.
Stone Temple Pilots: "Core"
Public Image Ltd: "Happy?"
Black Sabbath: "Volume 4" Metal classic
Deep Purple: "Machine Head" Ditto (Not in a Rush Limbaugh way)

Friday, August 21, 2009

Plax Posts


Hi Plaxico Buress here. I am posting for Mike while I wait for the boat that sends me up the river. Let's get something straight right now. If I am drowning my sorrows like the way I drowned my career in a bar do not ask me if I want a shot OK? That's like asking Rachel Barton if she wants a leg when you are eating chicken. That reminds me of a story Mike told me. He was in college and partying @ some one's house (of course it was some one's house, somebody owned it) and there was a guy who lost his left hand. Well he did not misplace it, it was amputated. Anyway, Mikey says this guy was obnoxious and ordering him around. He demanded a beer, chips, salsa @ the same time, so Mike goes "Hold on, gimme a hand!". Needless to say the evening ended early after a heated discussion of etiquette. Moral: Think before you speak, OK?

Peace out!
Plax

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Abe Vigoda posts


Hi I'm Abe Vigoda. Yes, I am still alive.
In addition to appearing in the Godfather and Barney Miller, I had an awful sitcom called Fish. Oh and another thing. If you see a sign in a market that says "Fresh Fish Here" that does not mean I showered and am appearing @ your local market, OK? I am tired of being asked to pose for photographs with puckered up lips. I hated that show. My wife had a voice that killed birds in midair. I am trademarking the Fresh Fish name. Could be a good rapper name or sitcom. Or a sitcom starring a rapper. Did you see some jerk is marketing t-shirts w/ my mug on them? Anyway here's Mike's vitals:

MikePod:
Steely Dan: "Pretzel Logic"
The Police: "Zenyatta Mondata" Mike wants to write a rap song called "Help The Police". Meaning local law enforcement, not this band.
Deep Purple: Made In Japan. Iron Maiden had a live album called "Maiden Japan" Nice to know there is a sense of humor in metal.
Jesus & Mary Chain: "Automatic"
Talking Heads: "Stop Making Sense"
Van Halen: "Van Halen II"
Whitesnake: "Slide It In"
Yardbirds: "Live Yardbirds" Has an early version of "Dazed & Confused"
Neil Young: "Ragged Glory"

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Rodney Allen Rippy Posts!


Hi folks, memba me? I used to do those Jack In The Box commercials in 1970's where some union guy would stick a burger bigger than my torso in my face and watch cuteness and hilarity ensue. Not only was I short, so was my career! So any chance to get back in the public eye is welcomed. Did you know I am now hawking long distance service? If Mike were to open a fast food place, he would call it "Jerk In The Box". He does a lot of different things, Mike is a "Jerk Of All Trades" Ha ha ha!Anyway, here's Mikey's business:

On the MikePod:
Morrissey: Kill Uncle
REM: Murmur
Steely Dan: Countdown To Ecstasy
Ultra Vivid Scene: Ultra Vivid Scene
Van Halen: Women and Children First
Willie Dixon: I Am The Blues
Urge Overkill: Saturation
Whitesnake: Slide It In
Yes: 90120
Mike finished another book

Friday, August 07, 2009

Saturday, August 01, 2009

T.O.'s Ego checks in



http://mrbuyer.blogspot.com/



Hi I'm Terrell Owen's ego. Not T.O. himself, just his ego. So that means I'm big. I could also be Dolly Parton's cleavage,but I'm jokin. The picture you are seeing is how big I got after T.O. scored his first NFL touchdown. Did you know we have a breakfast cereal? We invented it in the garage. We were trying to make the world's smallest sponges, but it tasted too good to waste, or waist? Lately that horndog Jon from Jon Vs Kate, I mean Jon & Kate is scoring more than T.O. Anyway, while T.O. is working on his reality show, I thought I would report on Ole Mikey's business:

On the MikePod:
Bad Company: Burnin Sky: Awful LP from a band I, uh Mike, usually likes
Ultra Vivid Scene: Joy 1967-1990. Pretty good alternative pop from UVS, aka Kurt Ralske
David Bowie: Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars: A glam classic. Not a graham cracker.
Veruca Salt: American Thighs. The 2 women who founded this band broke up over a guy, Dave Grohl.
Urge Overkill: Exit The Dragon: Great 90's album
Van Halen: Fair Warning

Mike is toying with the idea of doing a monthly audio podcast in addition to the monthly videoblogs.
He might also do an ID for WTTW
Oh, he also finished another book.
Say hi sometime. Beer provided by Sam Adams Summer Ale.