Jailbird Phil Spector Checks In

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Hi, I'm Mr. Wall of Sound. I'm also in prison. I spend a lot of time training myself to not pick up anything I drop, ya dig? It is hard being incarcerated for killing a perfectly good blond. If I took out one of the cast members of "The Hills" I would have received a medal. Maybe 2. Because I had so much disposable income, I could keep guns around my house and intimidate people when my toupees didn't. I miss them. They always gave me unconditional love. I hope my wife is feeding them. Speaking of disposable income, have you seen Stephon Marbury's webcasting antics? See Stephon crash his car. See him cry. See him eat Vaseline. At least it was not Valvoline. Anyway, someone else who is not in the slammer will report to you soon on the MikePod and the latest book that Egghead Mac Mullen has finished.

Taco Bell Dog/Son Of Sam

http://mrbuyer.blogspot.com/


Hello. If you are reading this I am dead. Yes, I used my cute charm and spanish accent (kinda like Salma Hayek) to sell you mucho amounts of chalupas. What you may not know is that I was also the Son Of Sam. That's right, I was the telekinetic dog who instructed that cutie pie Dave Berkowitz to take out those people in the 1970's in New York. He didn't have to listen to me! Hey, how come when people hear voices they always do bad things? Why can't people who hear voices hear benign things like investment advice? Or maybe recipes? I gotta go and hopefully get through the Pearly Gates. Sounds like a gameshow host huh? By the way, ole Mikey finished another book. Also, if he were to have a couple it would be provided by Coors. News would be provided by Lauren Cohn

Broken Down Babe Alert! Mischa Barton Posts

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Wow. No one remembers me except for the OC. I am batshit crazy and I don't like to eat. I will kill you if you invite me to smorgasbord. If Sascha Baron Cohen ate that way would it be "Smorgasborat?" BTW (By the way, that means By The Way)Mike finished another book. I hope to get past the copyright page one of these days.I have to go. I am on a 5150 hold. Not Van Halen, just a nice rest so I don't have to promote another awful movie no one but the guy I am ordering around, uh dating, will watch.

Mischa Barton (through her PR person)

Genius Alert! Lauren Conrad Posts!

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Hi LC here. That's Lauren Conrad, not LC Greenwood. As you no doubt (not the band) know, I have left "The Hills" to pursue other opportunities just like Mike. I wanted to update the world about my latest endeavors. I am on my way to MIT to shape the minds of the future with my intellectual firepower. Did you know I have written a book? I didn't either, I was just told by my handlers that I did. Anyway, there are 3 things I hate: 1) Other blondes: Why do they all have to look like me? 2) The "B" word, Brunette. Yuck! 3) Redheads: I did not know that Lucille Ball was a redhead. Really! I always thought she had black and white hair. Who knew? Well I gotta go. I am going to put out another book called the Conradist Manifesto. It will be like Groucho Marx's book about a political system. In my case, it is how TV producers, handlers and a brilliant young woman can manipulate the TV proletariat. Whatever that means.

Kisses!
Lauren

Special Guest Crumudgeon: Wilford Brimley

http://mrbuyer.blogspot.com/
I'm Wilford Brimley. I have diabetes. I also have not had a dump since the Carter Administration. You'd be grumpy too. Anyway, I thought I would use the free time here provided by the city slickered jerk who writes this garbage and talk about Liberty Medical. They send you your supplies when you need them. No forms to fill out (Old people hate to fill out forms) No charge for shipping (old people hate shipping and they also hate to be charged for it.) I am also making inroads in to the hip hop community. See my rap video? How's that for keeping it real? Ever hear my LP? I can rock it out if need be. By the way, Mike finished another book report. Alright, I have to go and be ornery somewhere else. Maybe over @Betty White's. Before I head over there(get it?)I need to do a Viagra commercial. I should probably also have a Metamucil milkshake.

Peace out beyatch!
Wilford

Ina Garten Posts

Ina Garten

I am an elitist. My nose is stuck up so high that I can touch the top of the Sears Tower sitting down. 3 Things I am not: 1) Mindy Cohn (Facts Of Life) 2) Ina Garden 3) The Big Fat Contessa. Mike is a commoner. Unlike me, he is striving to improve himself, where as I don't have to. Because I am a thoughtful person I decided to take myself down a notch (or 30) and contribute to this blog while he is away. 2 days ago I ate a sandwhich. I did not know you could eat it in your hands! (I didn't use my hands, just the hands of the hapless intern who is writing this. I am afraid of the Intronet.) It had been so long since I had a sandwich. Let's see, today is Wed, Tuesday, Monday, ah yes, June 4, 1967! There was a servants strike in the Hamptons and the gold utensils were dirty. So we had to improvise.

On the MikePod: (Isn't that cute! I don't have an iPod, I just hire bands to play for me in person)

Heaven & Hell: "The Devil You Know"
Pink Floyd: "A Momentary Lapse Of Reason"
Love & Rockets: "Love & Rockets"

Stop The Freemasons

Hi DVP here again! I watched the coverage of the Michael Jackson Memorial and it made me think that the Freemasons have struck again. They forced ABC to cancel Eight is Enough because they did not want America entertained in the 1970's. Their actions made Susan Richardson bat shit crazy, Adam Rich a junkie and Willie Aames a Jesus Freak and fat.

I am announcing counter measures to the Freemasons. We are calling our group the "Captivemasons". Hopefully, we can bring back Eight is Enough. Hopefully, my new wife on the show will be hot, like Tanya Memme

I saw HGTV has a new show called "Bang For Your Buck" I thought it was about prostitution.

I have to go. The next celebrity is very snooty, just like Bang For Your Buck.

Special Guest: Dick Van Patten

Hi. Why am I taking over this lowly blog on a guest basis? Cause I have nothing else to do that's why! I also have not had this much fun since I saw Betty Buckley's blouse button come off on the set of Eight Is Enough. She played my 2nd wife, but next to me she looked like she was 15. Did you know my son Vincent likes to gamble and do commercials for casino's?

BTW, Mike asked me to mention that he has completed another book and has filed a book report. He finished one on Ted Kennedy and continued to work on the Tom Friedman one. Latest review here

Happy Birthday America/July 4 musings.

While I Aldo Chellabrated the 4th with some Miller High Life, I started musing about the future. Specifically, cloud computing. I use Google Docs. I like the forms feature that tie into a spreadsheet so you can collect information. What beer should we buy, what should I wear to the bank robbery, etc.

I used the forms feature to set up a meetings with some colleagues recently. So I have accounts with Google Docs, Think Free, Zoho and Edit Grid. You can collaborate online, store these off line, and they are all free! No $150 bloatware to install. No wondering who has the most current version of the document.

I saw Larry King @Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch this week. I bet he was wondering if MJ's ghost would show up. I love to watch Larry cuz he has no clue about pop culture and it is particularly great if he has no interest in the subject @ hand and you can tell some hapless intern is feeding him questions in his headset.

Starting next week, the first of several guests will post on this blog while I devote time to other issues.

Birthday musings

So I turned 43 July 1. It got me to thinking about things. Like maybe I need to try some new things. While I figure that out, I will have some interesting people take over this blog. I'll make posts through the weekend, but here are some things I noticed in the news recently:

Man inpersonates dead mother: If I was this guy, I would be bothered that I actually fooled people into believing I was an elderly woman. I am sure that will go down well in prison. If I was 90 today instead of 43, I might have picked up flowers. Not.

City workers must wear underwear: Really? How does one, uh enforce that? Does tape count?

Angelina Jolie celebrates world refugee day: I did not know refugees enjoy their status or lack there of. What does one serve? Cake? What does one wear to a party like this? Torn clothes? So nice of Angie to join the little people.

Paula's Party

Revised (6/28/09)
This has to be one of the goofiest shows I've ever seen. I find it ridiculous. So you might ask "Why watch it Mike?" Fair question. Here are my reasons:

1) First she does this seductive dance in the opening. There is a mirror ball twirling. It is festive. I feel she is speaking/gesturing (jestering?) to me. Then I usually snap out of it and put on Sabado Gigante.

2) She dresses up and hosts a lot of has been celebrities. I have seen Chris Knight of the Brady Bunch who is now famous for having a young hot wife than any vocational activity he is involved with. I also saw the Fridge from the 1985 Bears. What Mike Richardson was not available?

3) I usually only watch the opening and then the guests and then I move on to something else to annoy myself. So I don't invest a lot of time.

4) With her southern drawl she will take 10 minutes to pronounce the word "ham" "Hayammmmmm" I hope she does not serve Hamm's beer. It would take 3 hours to ask for @the liquor store.

OK, I am still talking to other folks to take over the blog while I am on my sabbatical. If I choose to listen exclusively to Black Sabbath, would I be taking a "sabbathical?"

On the MikePod:
Yardbirds: "Ultimate! Disc 1"
Bad Company: "Anthology Disc 1"
Black Sabbath: "Paranoid"
Green Day: "International Superhits"
White Stripes: "Elephant"
David Bowie: "ChangesBowie"

Beer brought to me by Miller, news brought to me by Nancy Pender

Some People Should Say Yes To Drugs.

Ed McMahon (Hi Yo!), John Callaway, Farrah (Forke? Franklin?, like she needs a last name) and Michael Jackson. Enough of the dead and dying, time to make with the funny.

So Elizabeth Becton does not like to be called Liz. Like batshit crazy does not want to be called Liz. She works for a congressman and is in charge of his schedule. A hapless staff person @ a lobbying firm was trying to set up a meeting with the congressman she supports and addresses Ms. Becton as Liz. Ms. Becton over the course of 19 emails (19!)berated this person over this terrible misstep. Now it is all over the Internet. If I was Ms. Becton here's how I would try to go forward:

1) Commit to having a solid bowel movement. I mean battle ship (battleshit?) size. In fact, I would commit to one each day. A dump a day keeps the anger away.
2) A nice long vacation. Perhaps an amish bed and breakfast. No TV, No Internet, no instant coffee, no informal naming.
3) Counseling. Better yet, some people should say yes to drugs.

On a lighter (not for cigarettes) note. My birthday is this July 1. I have some things I want to achieve and experience. As a result, I am going to take a break from this blog. However, I think this blog should go on while I am away. Therefore, I have engaged some interesting people to continue while I find myself. Or someone else. This will take affect after the July 4th weekend. Feel free to comment @ mhmacmullen@gmail.com

Michael Jackson Dead

Wow. Kinda like Elvis. Hopefully he did not time it to upstage Farrah

John Callaway passes away

John Callaway, a legendary Chicago journalist passed away yesterday. I have a connection to him. Mr. Callaway did the commencement speech @ my graduation from college in 1986. We also had Ann Landers speak. Anyway, John gave a brilliant speech. I was the Station Manager/Program Director of the campus radio station. My car was parked in front of it. I went out to the car a little while after the ceremony and parked next to me was a Chevette and who should be getting into it? John Callaway. I thanked him for the speech and we shook hands.

Years later, I obtained a videotape of that ceremony and mailed a copy to Mr. Callaway @channel 11. I got a nice note from him. I have it somewhere, one of these days I'll post it.

This is about as serious as I ever get here. Coming soon:

The saga of Elizabeth Becton, and a review of Paula's Party

Another Book Finished

While it is hotter than Megan Fox out, I have managed to finish another book. Dealers Of Lightning, Xerox PARC and the Dawn Of The Computer Age. The next one will add to my intellectual firepower. Hot Flat & Crowded. Kinda sounds like IHOP on a Sunday morning huh? Or maybe a skinny model convention.

Here's the latest review

June 2009 Video Blog

Storms, Radio, MikePod, Corona

June Special Video Report Part 1

A live storm damage report. Part 1 of June Video Blog. I was going to make a longer one, but I was 2 buzzed.

Guess What I am doing on Saturday?

Since the storms were so bad in the Chicago area today that my weather alert radio @work went off like 10 times I was going to write about some of the odd things I have heard on my various radios (scanners etc.. and it's good!). As you can see what used to be my garage and what used to be a tree forced my hand. What will I be doing on Sat?

A) Building a cabin out of the tree
B) Announcing a sale of the best fire wood in the western burbs
C) Charging neighborhood kids a fee to climb the tree and by extension my garage.
D) Groveling with my insurance agent

Feel free to venture a guess via email. mhmacmullen@gmail.com

Jon & Kate Announcement

I was not going to post tonight, but there was a problem with my wireless network. I fixed it and this is a test. Anyway, they are going to make an announcement on Monday. I am sure they are seperating/divorcing. But the cynic in me thinks it could be something else. Here are some ideas:

1) Jon has 3 buttocks. A recent medical exam has revealed this. Now how does the family make money off of, uh cope with this situation?
2) Kate is selling her excess skin from her tummy tuck on E-Bay.
3) Jon & Kate are producing a new show starring the kids as "The Little Rascals"

While scanning the TV I came across this show on CLTV. The Cheeseburger Show. I love it. I am starting the hot-dog show soon.

Coming soon: June video blog (really, I mean it!) Weird things I have heard on my various radios, more book reports and news headlines.

Videos

While I plot out my June vidblog, enjoy these videos:

The Black Sabbath show: An outstanding parody of those '70's music cartoons.With their dog Doom Doom

Sammy Davis Jr, "Vehicle" Good God, kooka chaw, kooka chaw!

My new phone. No that's not me, I'm too dweebie.